Reviewing the commercial video market can be entertaining, horrifying
and
disgusting. In the case of the latest DVD to cross my desk, called
"Parental
Warning" its all three at the same time. This is not for the faint
of
heart. As they clearly state in their advertising, this is not
a tape for
parents. These are kids being kids. As a parent, these kids are
doing exactly
what you wish they weren't (and exactly what you know they are)
doing.
There's lots of irresponsible behavior, disrespect for authority
and
just plain audaciousness. Nudity and profanity are commonplace,
in fact
most of the items in the menu are unprintable. These kids have
yet to pass
through the phase you wish they would outgrow. If you look beyond
the horror,
it can be quite humorous.
This is Joel Sharpe and his camera run amok. It has apparently
been shot
over several years because you can watch Joel and his friends
age through
a variety of body and hairstyle evolutions in a matter of seconds
in the
well edited music video sections. You would think this might be
the result
of watching too much "Jackass," but some of this material seems
much
older and overall this seems much better produced and edited.
Could you
think that maybe there are other kids doing stupid stunts out
there? Of
course there are. Remember when you were a kid (and you thought
you were
invincible)? Its the same attitude as the old joke: "Look ma,
no hands
. . . look ma, no feet . . . look ma, no teeth."
Joel and his friends seem to have a masochistic craving for pain.
They
keep putting themselves in situations that could result in nothing
else.
They don't seem to fear the hard landings (or understand the laws
of
gravity), they just jump off in the remote hope of pulling off
a stunt that
has little chance of success. To the chorus of ". . . there's
something
wrong with me . . ." we watch heads bounce off of concrete; to
the chorus
of "F#?*ing psycho @itch" we watch some serious cases of road
rash
as they slide down a dirt hill complete with a makeshift ramp
designed to
launch them into the air called the "Death Ramp;" while "Sacrifice
is the only way . . ." is the theme as they leap off the roofs
of apparently
random houses into (and frequently missing) marginally impact-absorptive
shrubbery. I would say the definitive scene of the show is one
of them pushing
a shopping cart through the traffic of a main street in order
to crash it
into the curb on the other side, causing a second occupant of
the cart to
fly across the sidewalk into a hedge.
Its the same attitudes the X-Games skateboarders and motorcyclists
have
in order to accomplish their spectacular stunts--you know there
were lots
of broken bones to get there. There are musical "sections" in
the
video devoted to more conventional skateboard, motorcycle and
surfing expertise.
But the highlights are the things these kids make up for themselves:
There
is one where a kid known only as Keebler announces his plan, then
dons a
motorcycle helmet and jumps off a two story building. Why? We
may never
know, but this same Keebler is caught later in the video exhibiting
his
genitalia which appears to be missing the primary functional aparatus.
That
must have also been some sort of stunt too because we are treated
to short
interruptions in the music for little segments like one with a
girl (who
I hope isn't your daughter) displaying all her wares for Joel
and Keebler
just to be in the video. The (lackadaisical) director's commentary
announces
she was one of Keebler's conquests later on (I guess they did
have the
standards not to show that part of the tape). Yes there are girls
doing
stunts too, one who demonstrates the ability to kick herself in
the back
of the head, another who has remarkable muscle control of her
well endowed
breasts. But the boys stunts are more horrifying and creative.
One takes
off his underwear in what best can be described as the hard way,
another
sets his lap on fire, another eats glass, one more breaks bottles
over his
head and Keebler lights off a bottle rocket indoors, ricocheting
it off
the living room walls.
Tattoos and body piercings are widely shown. One tattooed female
announcer
sets the scene for a party sequence: "Sometimes we drink too much."
Alcohol use is frequent. One drunk named Nick asks to be hit in
the face
(which Joel happily obliges), and the credits pass by in the eternity
it
takes another drunk kid to remember how count to ten. And Joel
keeps the
camera rolling for all to see the consequences as the drunks have
the poison
rapidly work its way (O.K., let's say propel) out of their bodies.
It has to be agony to live with Joel and his camera. Anyone who
attempts
to sleep around him seems to get their sleep interrupted (again
his actual
title is unprintable) in creative fashion--probably at Joel's
coercion.
Also appearing in this video is Joel's mother who awakens Nick
with a
pair of old sneakers to the face. Joel's mother also crashes shopping
carts, jumps into bushes and slides down hills. But she gets her
comeuppance
later when Nick gets revenge in her bedroom.
In this post-pubescent variety show: there's a live punk music
performance
of a song whose title is unprintable; a section of nature photography
as
a large lizard named Cuervo devours a live mouse and the show
is capped
off with a promo for the next episode, "PW2," which we must assume
is worse, it features the once complicit mother screaming at Joel
about
his growing irresponsibility--all captured by his still rolling
camera.
All in all Parental Warning is humorous entertainment for kids--its
what's
really going on, while for the parents its a disgusting, horror
video--that
shows what's really going on when they aren't present. Its rating
depends on your perspective, there's not much middle ground.
Andy Hecker-Playback Video Magazine
Reprinted with permission.
